I want to focus on the present,
but my hands shake as I contemplate your presence—
or lack thereof.
And now I'm scared of any interaction
that doesn't involve the infliction to which I'm attracted.
Unaware of my body's existence,
I distance my emotions further from my conscience
until they return in a fond sense
of panic attacks
And now my hands are back to shaking uncontrollably.
All I want is control of me.
Poem by Taylor Rico. October 2013.